Party of One

Four years ago, I began a new chapter in my life. It wasn’t one I eagerly embraced, but it was to be my new normal. When the phone rings in the middle of the night no one ever expects it to be good news and you pray it won’t be the worst news. But that phone call forever changed my life. My husband of almost 37 years was gone. The numbness set in and if I’m totally honest I’m not sure it’s gone even now. But I did learn that I was stronger than I thought I was and with the help of family and friends, I am embracing my new normal and enjoying life.

I woke up this morning and my first thought was how much has changed in the past four years. I miss Larry every day. I miss having him ask me how my day was or having him listen while I ranted and raved about what was happening at work or having him help me proof my work for clients. I miss having him hug me and tell me everything will be okay even if he was unsure and I miss being told “I love you” every single day. And while I miss him, I know that he would never want me to stop living just because he did.

I have so many friends that have gone through the same thing during the past four years, that my heart aches for them. We are all living with “the firsts.” The first birthday, the first anniversary, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas and so much more.  But, I have found that once you conquer “the firsts” whatever they may be, you gain strength and courage.

I have learned to be proud of my own accomplishments, to reach out when I need help and to truly appreciate those around me. Life is a blessing made better by those that surround you. Choose those people carefully, they will be your anchors when you start to go off course. They keep you in the here and how and show you how to enjoy life, even as a party of one.

Thank you to my family and my friends, even those I don’t get to see very often or only know through social media. You have been supportive and encouraging and am grateful that you have touched my life. You make me smile 😊