Party of One

Four years ago, I began a new chapter in my life. It wasn’t one I eagerly embraced, but it was to be my new normal. When the phone rings in the middle of the night no one ever expects it to be good news and you pray it won’t be the worst news. But that phone call forever changed my life. My husband of almost 37 years was gone. The numbness set in and if I’m totally honest I’m not sure it’s gone even now. But I did learn that I was stronger than I thought I was and with the help of family and friends, I am embracing my new normal and enjoying life.

I woke up this morning and my first thought was how much has changed in the past four years. I miss Larry every day. I miss having him ask me how my day was or having him listen while I ranted and raved about what was happening at work or having him help me proof my work for clients. I miss having him hug me and tell me everything will be okay even if he was unsure and I miss being told “I love you” every single day. And while I miss him, I know that he would never want me to stop living just because he did.

I have so many friends that have gone through the same thing during the past four years, that my heart aches for them. We are all living with “the firsts.” The first birthday, the first anniversary, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas and so much more.  But, I have found that once you conquer “the firsts” whatever they may be, you gain strength and courage.

I have learned to be proud of my own accomplishments, to reach out when I need help and to truly appreciate those around me. Life is a blessing made better by those that surround you. Choose those people carefully, they will be your anchors when you start to go off course. They keep you in the here and how and show you how to enjoy life, even as a party of one.

Thank you to my family and my friends, even those I don’t get to see very often or only know through social media. You have been supportive and encouraging and am grateful that you have touched my life. You make me smile 😊

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It’s Down a Size I Go!

Ok I admit it; I’m a week behind in my blog, so let’s start with last week.  Five weeks down and yippee finally a size down in clothes!  Actually, the skirts downsize came easily, in fact they are getting a little too big on me now.  It was the jeans.  You know the ones, those jeans that have been in the closet for at least 5 years waiting to see if I could ever get them on again.  Taunting me, making fun of me, letting me know that I had gained weight, that I couldn’t get them over my hips much less zip them.  They were only there to be a reminder of what used to be (or more realistically, a fantasy that I would get back into them on the way down to a smaller size – which sizes also reside in my closet).

Well, I showed them!  HA!  Not only did I get them over my hips… but…I couldn’t zip them.  For the past 2 weeks I have been trying them on hoping to be able to get them buttoned and zipped.  Any woman that has washed their jeans in hot water knows the routine.  Lay on the floor (or bed), knees bent, suck in your stomach, quit breathing…try to zip.  If that doesn’t work, repeat above BUT lift your tush off the floor/bed, suck that stomach in harder and zip.  Neither method worked for me L

For those of you that are old enough, remember the “dickey”? (And for those of you that don’t it’s a small fabric insert worn to fill in the neckline of a top of what was once considered showing too much cleavage).  I figured I might become famous if I could invent one for jeans.  One side has a button and one side has a button hole…attach to jeans and the 6-inch gap that needs to be closed suddenly disappears.  Unfortunately, I haven’t sewn since high school so I couldn’t see that happening.  Best laid plans and all…

So, what happens?  Suddenly a week and a half later, voilà!  ZZZZZZZZZIPPPPPP!  The jeans are buttoned, the zipper is zipped and while I might not be able to take really deep breaths yet…I’m finally down a size in my jeans!  What a great feeling!!

Being curious, I decided to find out just how much I needed to lose to go down a size.  What I found was interesting.  I had always heard that once you lose 10-15 pounds down you go.  But if you are more Rubenesque (like me) you have to lose more inches than if you were smaller to start.  If you want to know more about the why, check out this article:  How Much Weight Do You Lose Before You Change Sizes?

Anyway, I am totally delighted that I managed to zip those jeans and I’m going to make sure that they eventually fall off as I can go down another size!  At five weeks it’s 15.5 pounds and 11.5 inches.  WooHoo!

Until next time…